So happy! For the first time in ages he felt free! No stress, no worries, no burden. He was free and that gave him the most amazing feeling of weightlessness.
Not sure if you ever felt this, this brightness that envelops your mind, your soul, your body, the clarity after a dense, prolonged fog.
He was laughing and talking to himself on the short drive home.
How did he never think of this before?! Such a simple, and most effective solution!
Did he feel bad about lying? Well, no, not really! He was doing it for them, to make them both happy, and he was doing it for him, because he could not handle the pressure anymore, something had to give, and, as it turns out, it was him. If lying led to a solution that made everybody happy, including himself, then it was a means as good as any other.
The idea came to him by accident, more as a means of escape than anything else.
It was one of those pressure packed days. Work was hectic, nothing seemed to fall into place, he felt like crap and couldn’t bear for it to be over. When it was almost done his phone rang, it was his mom.
‘Hi mom! How are you?’, he loved his mom, and although he was not at his best, he was glad to hear her.
‘Jack! Hello!’, he liked how her voice seemed surprised to hear him, as if he had called her unexpectedly and not the other way around.
‘Hi mom, all good?’
‘Jack, I cooked your favourite! Shepard’s pie! I called to invite you to dinner!’, he could feel the hope in her voice and his heart sunk. Christine, his wife, would go mad if he called home and told her he wants to go to his mom’s for dinner that evening. She would just go mad and he would never hear the end of it. He felt so pained.
‘Oh mom … this is so short notice …’, she did not let him finish.
‘You never come to dinner, why does SHE not like me? I never did anything to HER! You are MY son.’
From 0 to 100 in 1 second. Jack felt overwhelmed, he hated this being in the middle thing, why couldn’t everybody just get along.
‘I will die soon, and then there will be nobody left to visit!’
She was right, and the thought of never seeing her again almost brought him to tears crushing him.
‘Oh mom, don’t say that! Of course, I will come to dinner! I just can’t stay too late though.’, he felt heartbroken.
‘That makes me so happy Jack! See you soon then! Mommy loves you!’, and she hung up.
The weight of the world on his shoulders. If he could just crawl in a little hole and hide, no hiding though, he had to call Christine.
‘Hi honey! Will you be long? I am cooking your favourite! Fish and chips!’, her voice was so chirpy and happy that he felt like the scum of the earth.
‘I will be a bit late. I am so sorry honey! We have a lot of work to do and I must stay longer! You understand, right?’, he hoped.
‘Oh, no worries honey, you work too much! I will wait with dinner. Send me a text when you are on your way. Any idea of the time?’
He had to think fast.
‘Ahhh, not too late, sevenish most likely …’, she accepted it, not happy, but work is work, puts food on the table.
He got away with it! Amazing!
He was so pleased with himself! Not the ideal way of handling it, but a good way which allowed him to avoid any aggravation and fighting. That will do nicely!
Jack parked his car in front of his mother’s house and went in. She was so happy to see him. You know how you just see somebody’s love on their face, the way they look at you, the way they shine. Jack saw that glow in his mother and felt that all the madness was worth it.
She did not ask anything of him, she did not want anything from him, seeing him there, at her table, keeping her company just for a few minutes, was her idea of bliss.
She stuffed him with Shepard’s pie, they had a nice cosy chat, a long warm hug and kisses, and he was on his way. He had texted Christine, so when he got home it smelt like fish and chips. Oh, not more food!
‘Hi honey! So good you are home! I am starving! I bet you are too after such a long day! I made you and extra big piece of fish!’, Christine was all set for dinner, and he knew there was no way out of it if he wanted to survive.
They had dinner, they chatted, they were happy, he was about to burst. Jack loved his wife to bits and would do anything to make her happy.
That night, Jack had one of the most horrible night’s sleeps ever, he could barely breathe, and his stomach felt like a rock. ‘This love thing is really heavy on the digestion.’, he told himself, and smiled being pleased that he had managed to make both happy without any aggravation.
The next day he was a bit sluggish, but otherwise in good spirits. Work was decent. He spoke with his mom, she seemed ok. Christine was pleased with her day out, the world was right.
‘This is the life!’ he thought and smiled to himself.
That was the life, though, only until the next day, when his mom called to tell him, that she found the most amazing free-range chicken in the market. She made his favourite soup and chicken Kiev. He will come to dinner, right!? He must come, she cooked just for him. Jack could not say no, so he used the same trick as before. Christine understood, work is work, they will have dinner when he gets in, steak and chips. Yumm!
It worked this time too, although Christine did say that he should check with his manager about all these late shifts, that was not fair, he should be paid overtime. Jack agreed, he will check with his manager, he was sure they will work something out.
Next morning, he totally agreed with Christine, he should find a permanent solution. So, he spent the entire day thinking about it. He came up with a project that he had to support in an obscure South American country, and his entire shift had to be moved 2 hours later. It was easy, Christine never woke up in the morning, so he could leave at what time he wanted. Then, in the evening, he could go visit his mom, and afterwards, return home, without having to worry about calling in or anything. Thank God they all lived in the same area of Dublin!
He was a genius, yes, a true genius! Proud of you Jack my boy!
Christine understood work is work, puts food on the table. His mother was over the moon that she could see him so often, she seemed to rejuvenate. Jack was pleased he could make them both happy, and that, for the first time he did not feel squashed by their demands. He was in control and free, and it felt amazing! They were content and so was he, although a bit tired, a bit sluggish and a bit overweight, but it was ok, it was worth it, they were all ok now.
Over the next few months life was bliss, the days happily melted into each other with no drama, no endless conversations with his mom or Christine, just the amazing peace and quiet of the normality he created.
Till one day, when suddenly, Jack was taken to the hospital. He had collapsed at work.
When he woke up in that sterile room, he found it funny to see both there, looking at him with loving eyes. So weird though, he could see them, and he could see himself, lying on the bed, very pale and with a ventilating machine pumping air into him.
‘Oh, honey you work too much! I told you so!’, Christine held his hand and watched over him.
His mom sat, waiting, on the other side of the bed.
‘How do you feel Jack?’, her voice was trembling.
‘I am ok.’, he looked at them and all he knew was that he loved them. They were the only ones that mattered and nothing else. Without them, there was no him.
They did not hear him though; his lips had not moved. What is going on here?
The doctor came in and they both got up. The news was not good, but he will survive. High cholesterol, high blood pressure, high blood sugars, also the doctor hinted, as if fearful of the reactions, that he could benefit from losing some weight. A total change in life style or something unspeakable will happen.
Both women looked hurt and worried.
‘When will he wake up?’
‘Should not be long now, his vitals are almost normal.’
Jack was relieved to hear that, not sure why he could still see himself from afar though. A bit of rest is what he needs. He will have a nap, a nap never hurt anyone, he felt so sleepy. They were there with him, so he could sleep peacefully guarded by their love.
The next few days Jack was in and out of it. Christine and his mom stayed by his side making sure he was not left alone not even one minute. They made nice to each other, they had a common mission, but the rivalry was there, on hold, while they took care of the matter in hand. They worked great together because they were so similar. Both organized, determined and caring. Jack was all they cared about and everything else had to wait.
When he finally woke up it was like a rebirth. Everybody was happy and relieved. Meal and exercise plans were being put forward. Of course, he should work less and spend more time at home, Christine thought. His mom assured him that she will only cook healthy meals for him. They both fussed. Things were quickly getting out of hand, and Jack felt he was being, again, dragged in two directions.
He will not allow this to derail, he knew exactly what he had to do. From his months of bliss, he knew the system worked. He had not used it correctly, but the system worked. He will not give up on the system. And he did not, he just fine tuned it.
When he returned home, Jack continued with his late shift, but he would see his mom only every other day, three out of the five days, and in the other two he would just do something for himself. The weekends were dedicated to Christine. The doctor had instructed them that the diet must change drastically, so he did not have to bother about food as both, his mom and Christine, were now cooking less and healthier food.
Balance and control, this is what it felt like, and it was great.
He was so pleased. There was no more pain or guilt. He lived through love, for love and with love. His love for them had found a way to appease their love for him.
They all got what they wanted, and he was able to make them happy without hurting anyone, not even himself.
‘I love you.’, he smiled to himself. And they will never really know how much.
What a card. What happens in chapter two?