The books we go back to

From time to time, my mind goes back to a book I read a long time back. It starts like a small memory spark and then it slowly grows into a full, fledged desire to go back to the book, to read it or just browse through it. I tried to understand why I do this, when I have so many books yet to read.

I think there are various reasons for why we do it, as I am not alone. Of course, it might be a corner stone book in our development, but I think it also has to do with the time in our life when we have read that book. We are trying to capture a feeling, to bring it back and try to recreate it in our today life.

I can remember even now the way I felt when I read The Thompson Travel Agency by Jules Verne (only a lot later I found out it was actually written by Michel Verne, Jules Verne’s son). Or the fascination Michel Zévaco awoke in me for historic novels.

Now, I am a different person than I was more than 25 years ago when I was reading these books, and when I read them I cannot feel the same as I did then, but it does brighten the memory a bit, it refreshes it and in a strange way, it brings myself back to me.

The dreams and hopes I had then are fresher in my mind. The image of the person I was then is more vivid. It helps me look at myself now and be grateful for what I have accomplished and that I have survived.

A recent book that sprung to mind is a novel written by a Romanian author in 1920. The novel is called Ion and the author is Liviu Rebreanu. I read it when I was in high-school as it is required reading, so around 17 years of age. I read it because I had to, but I remember that I found it quite interesting and some bits of it stuck with me.

The book is the story of Ion (John) and the people populating his world. Ion lives in a small village and comes from a not so well to do family. He is desperate to have more land and sets his sights on Ana, the daughter of a rich man in the village. From here drama and tragedy ensues.

I only remembered bits and pieces of it and when we got to Romania I said I want to find it and read it. Funny enough it was not quite easy to find, but I did manage and now I have started to read it again.

I find it fascinating how much of it I have forgotten. If somebody had asked me if I read it I would have said yes, because I did, but I must confess that I have forgotten a lot of it.

It is much better written than I remember and Rebreanu has a delightful way of turning the phrases. For example: Night rose from its hiding, strangling the last battling rays of light. (Noaptea se inalta din ascunzisuri, sugrumand cele din urma zvarcoliri de lumina.) The translation is mine, so might be a better one is available, but still I think you understand what I mean. Really evocative descriptions.

The book is intense, it is about greed, suicidal ideation, assault and many of the dark aspects of human nature. Reading it I wonder if it is actually appropriate as required reading for budding humans, but maybe it is, maybe it works as an artistic warning about what can happen.

I honestly think I enjoy it much more now, when I have some life experience, than I did when I was told to read it and learn it for school. It might even be more than enjoyment, I think it is understanding. I understand it better now and I am able to actually appreaciate it.

Going back to books from our formative years for sure often has a self-discovery purpose and even of better self-understanding, because they help us asses who we are now compared to who we were then.

What is one of the books that lingers in your memory?