The vastness of the factory floor never ceased to fascinate him. He could not see where it ended, it just blended into a man made, steel horizon. The space was so wide and tall that it literally felt like the whole world was contained within.
There were no windows and large lights, hanging from thick plastic cords provided a strong, white light that illuminated even the lowest corners. The lights were continuously on so the space had the same look no matter at what time you started your shift.
Jimmy’s shift was usually from 2pm to 10pm, but now, with the new baby on the way they needed every cent, so when the chance of a night shift came along he jumped at it. How hard can it be? And the money does add up even with the high Irish tax percentage.
He was fascinated to see the factory during the night looked just the same as it did during the day. The people were different though and this was what proved to be most difficult for Jimmy.
The night shift workers were like a different tribe compared to the day shift ones. It felt like a rougher world, people hardened by the harshness of their lives, focused on amassing resources without finding any pleasure in their activity.
Jimmy tried in the first few days to create a bond, to get to know them, but their unresponsiveness was so resounding that he withdrew in himself and just focused on why he was there, why he was making this effort, and the benefits his family would gain from his sacrifice.
Time went by, hours blended into each other’s similarity melting into the sleepless nights and forgettable days.
Jimmy worked hard and when the paycheck came he felt like his work was rewarded. The money was indeed good on the night shift.
What Jimmy found though was that things had started to feel a bit different at home. He almost never saw his wife. They passed each other at the corners of their reality and all their interactions were transactional.
‘Did you do this? Did you pick that?’
Even his wife seemed to look different. Not bad different, just like a different person than his wife. Sometimes when he passed her in the house he had this split second puzzling feeling that he did not know who she was.
Also, he missed his children. He missed their hugs, their noise, their need for attention.
It was not long before Jimmy started to have the same shaded look as his night shift co-workers. At home it was like his family lived in a different dimension, and he started to feel like a bachelor again. The weekends he spent locked in his shed working on little metal pieces under a powerful LED lamp.
Life had changed so much in such a short time that Jimmy’s mind still had not had time to catch up and it refused to adapt to this new bleak reality, as a consequence it kept bringing elements from the before world to Jimmy’s dark days.
The mind was so powerful that sometimes, in the factory, Jimmy thought he saw his children play on the floor, skipping rope or playing ball.
Another time he was sure his wife was standing next to him chopping vegetables for dinner and talking away about God knows what, not needing an answer just wanting to feel the connection to him.
One night he was working away, more machine than man, and he felt a cold draft surrounding him. When he looked up his wife was standing next to him, as beautiful as ever. Her eyes were filled with tears as she took his face into her cold hands and looked at him intently.
‘I came to say good bye my love!’
Jimmy was sure he was hallucinating and shook his head to will the vision away. With tears running down her face she turned and floated away meting in the brightness of the steel horizon.
‘Jimmy! The hospital called, your wife is in labor!’
His stomach turned! No!
Jimmy ran as fast as he could, jumped in his car and with no recollection of how he got there he found himself in the hospital yelling like crazy, looking for his wife.
While he was looking for her he could swear he saw her standing in the middle of a corridor, watching him, smiling at him in a pleased, whimsical way.
They told him to wait, she was in surgery, it turned out she was pregnant with twins although one never showed on the scans because his position in the womb was very awkward.
Jimmy hurt as he never thought it is possible to hurt. They needed to be ok, without them there was no him and nothing else mattered. The scare he felt in that moment would guide his actions for the rest of his life, and even just a faint memory of it would make him throw up and hyperventilate, so he tried to bury it deep in himself under many moments spent with them.
He was lucky, he was so lucky and all the wealth he needed was right there.
‘Are you sure we will be ok? We have twins … no idea how we will make ends meet!’, she was looking at him in a pleased, whimsical way.
‘I am sure we will find a way, there is no other option!’