She dropped her arms in surrender and stared at herself in the mirror, tears just starting to form in her eyes.
‘Is this all it takes for you to crumble?’
She looked helpless at the skirt zip that just would not close. She could swear that not long ago she had worn the skirt and it fitted just fine. She was not bloated, she had not eaten, so there was no reason why it should not just close.
‘How can I feel like crying for a skirt not zipping up?’
She remembers when nothing would make her cry. Not even the soppiest movies, not even the most dreadful news. She would just brush them off as somebody else’s problem. Now, she was constantly in this state of panic and worry, never knowing what would set her off.
Recently she started to really worry about her ability to keep it together. It felt like the entire world was encouraging you to let it all out, to manifest whatever was happening inside you, but if she did that, then all was lost.
If she would let it all out, then she would say what she really thought and that is not really acceptable. You should let it all out when what you have to say sounds nice. No, at least her thoughts were still hers.
She longed for her leggins and an oversized t-shirt, but that was not possible. You cannot look like going to the gym when you go to the office. Although, these young folks, that kept joining wore the most puzzling things. One day she had to do a double take when a young woman looked like she was wearing slippers.
She counted the years and now she was closer to the end than the start. Just thinking about that made her let out a deep sigh.
‘What to do? What to do?’
She rummaged in the closet and found a skirt with a wide elastic band. That will work. She put it on and decided it looked decent. Not very generous with compliments her, never had been. She never thought herself pretty, or good, or whatever. All she could muster was decent and that had to be good enough.
When she got back home that evening she was happy she had worn the elastic band skirt. Her stomach had went through various dress sizes throughout the day and the elastic kept her feeling comfortable.
She picked up the ill fitting skirt from the landing where she had abandoned it and wondered.
‘Maybe it is time you got a new life.’
Unsure of it she stuffed it in the back of the closet.
‘We’ll see.’
‘It ain’t over yet.’
‘Not yet, no.’