My Substack, my lovely Substack

This past week life took over and I lacked the commitment to write on my Substack when it happened.

I feel bad about it, like when you are on a diet and you lack the strength to not eat that gorgeous cheesecake.

Guilt is an integral part of my life, guilt that I am not writing, guilt that I am not doing this or the other. I am working through it and getting better at it as time goes by, but still the guilt of not writing is there, and the sad thing is, the guiltier I feel about not writing the more difficult it becomes to write.

In fairness though, I need space to write, I need a clear mind, when I am overwhelmed by this or that I cannot focus and ideas get scared and run away.

Although I did not write this week I did collect images, smells, people, thoughts as always, saving them there for later usage.

I remember, sometimes in the past, when the guilt of not writing got too much I would decide that enough is enough, ‘I am not meant to be a writer’ and I would officially give it up.

But I never could.

I always came back circling the emptiness it left behind, the guilt and the pain are easier to bear than the absence, so I just get on, doing bits and pieces, enjoying it when it is nice, muddling through when it cannot be any other way.

For some people it is easy, for some it is not easy and they have the determination to push through, for some you just wonder why this calling if it is so difficult to answer it?

Anyway, the point I wanted to make is that I am here, and I will work hard not to skip my Substack for another full week, because it is such a slippery slope, miss a week here, then it becomes two weeks and so on, and I do not want that.

Everyday is a school day!