John stepped out in the cold evening, barely contained excitement burning up his insides. He felt like a teenager, and it made him giddy, it made him feel alive, more alive than he had felt in years.
When his wife had cheated on him, he had not understood why she had done it, how she could have done that to him, to their kids, their family. Now though, engulfed in the excitement of it, he got an idea of how it felt and what the attraction might be.
He still felt as if a band of iron was tightening around his heart when he remembered what they had gone through because of her infidelity. The pain had felt unbearable. They survived though, and almost five years later, he was the one who was risking it all again. The irony did not escape him.
John chased away the thoughts haunting him and focused on the present moment. This woman, this young, extremely smart and beautiful woman, had a hold on him, something he could not explain or resist. He had tried it! God knows he had tried it!
She was married, she had a young child she deeply loved and spoke about all the time, but despite all that, she still responded to his subtle innuendos, she still allowed him to get too close and had accepted his invite to an intimate dinner. The word intimate had been uttered, and both had smiled knowingly when the plans were made.
John told his wife he was working late. It often happened that he would fall asleep in his office and just stay there if he was too tired. The benefits of having a private, corner office. At least that, to soothe his descent into his more mature years, as he called being close to his seventies.
The woman he was courting was just shy of forty. Thirty years between them. The thought made John smile smugly. His wife’s lover had been their age. John was doing so much better! All those hours in the gym really did pay off.
The restaurant he had chosen was a private Italian restaurant with just a few tables and which only accepted you if you had a reservation. It was located under a very low railway bridge, which was the actual ceiling of the restaurant. To contribute to the cozy atmosphere, the ceiling and walls were covered in a plush, soft material like velvet, but you could still hear a slight hum when a train passed overhead.
It was a special place, and John was delighted to see that their table was a very private one, that allowed them to be relaxed and talk without worrying about the other patrons of the restaurant.
He got a glass of red wine and made himself comfortable. He found it amusing that his heart was racing, and when she showed up felt like it would jump out of his chest.
She was stunning in a fitted dress, the color of ripe plums, with high stiletto heels, and a stylish hairdo that framed her heart-shaped face.
‘Hello!’, she was out of breath. ‘The taxi dropped me two streets away for some reason, and these shoes are definitely not for walking!’ she regaled him with a cheeky smile, pointing towards her exquisite ankles.
John felt the rhythm of his heart in his ears. Maybe he was indeed too old for this!
‘So good to see you John! This place is amazing!’, she looked around evidently pleased with his choice.
He still had it, nothing to worry about, he convinced himself while reveling in her joy.
‘What would you like to drink?’
She surprised him. ‘An Old Fashioned please!’
‘I never took you for an Old Fashioned kind of girl!’, and he laughed at the double entendre of the sentence.
She smiled a slow, melancholic smile he had not seen before, one that, in a strange way, made her even more beautiful.
‘It was my parents’ favorite. When I was young, they would sit in the garden, after work, drinking their cocktails and talking about everything under the sun. I used to look at them and dream about when I would find my own better half, hoping that we will have, if we are lucky, half of that.’
She sounded sad now. He did not want her sad, and for sure he did not want to talk about her better half.
‘Let’s order!’, he brushed her confession aside and pushed it away.
‘Yes, let’s!’, her bright tone was back.
He ordered wagyu lasagna, and she asked for swordfish with vegetables.
The conversation flowed as smoothly as the wine did. Her Old Fashioned had come with a huge ice cube in it, which made the glass look constantly full, although she kept drinking from it each time they said cheers.
John was happier than he had been in a long time and he was in awe of the reaction this woman provoked in him. A mature man, well experienced, well versed in all worldly things. Life will never cease to amaze.
Towards the end of the meal the cheers got even more frequent, so much so that, when they got up to leave, John felt a bit wobbly on his legs. He steadied himself, and when she came close to him and put her arm around him, he felt like a million bucks.
It was well past midnight and the night was very cold.
‘Let’s walk a bit, to clear our heads. The air is so pleasant!’
John felt his age and would have rather gotten into a taxi and gone somewhere warm, but her closeness, her firm body gave him strength, and he agreed with her.
They walked until they got to the O’Brien Bridge. The sound of the water gave the walk a romantic background. She stopped and looked at the fast-flowing water.
‘I always loved water …’
John saw his chance. He got close and kissed her with all the yearning he had tried to contain since he had met her.
When they stopped for air, he hugged her close. She felt so amazing, like the missing piece of him.
It was then that she spoke again close to his ear.
‘ … I stopped loving the water when my mom chose to end her life in it.’
‘Oh! I am so sorry!’, he held her even closer hating and enjoying, the fact that his body expressed other wishes in a very evident manner.
She slipped from his arms and went to lean on the railing. John followed and stopped next to her, gently caressing her hair. He knew he had to give her space, not to pressure her.
‘Three years ago, after my father moved to Scotland.’
‘Oh! Why did he do that?’, John was becoming interested.
‘He had an affair and she could never forgive him, she could never go back, so he left, and it broke her.’, the voice was cold as steel and sharp as the cutting wind.
‘I am so sorry!’, he really was.
‘My mom died because of somebody else’s affair. And the worst of it is that nothing happened to the adulteress. Her husband took her back, she continued her glamorous, luxurious life, while my family was destroyed, my wonderful mother … dead.’
John was starting to sober up fast, feeling the pain in her words.
‘I don’t know what to say …’
She turned to him.
‘You… You killed my mother!’ The statement hit him like lightning.
‘What?’, John’s mind still had not caught up.
‘You were the one who told her! You went to her, you told her about their affair, all the sordid details, you soothed your pain by inflicting it on her. You made it so that she could not forget or forgive …’
Now it all made sense, John was in shock …
‘I never wanted her to die … No!’
‘Well now, dear John, what we want and what we get, well… for example now… what I want is my mother back, but what I will get is the satisfaction of seeing you die!’
Before John could really comprehend what was happening, she pushed him over the rail, dangerously tilting on her high heels. John sank in the black water, never to be seen again.
She watched for him, her tears falling in the fast-flowing river, tears for a mother loved and lost, but now, revenged.
Many minutes later, she walked away, free to live her life, a life without a husband, without a child, a life devoid of joy, but now, maybe, also free of the desire for revenge and ready to build something different.