It all started in therapy.
During one of the sessions when he was bitterly complaining about his inability to stand up to his wife, his boss, the world.
The therapist placidly said:
'What if you had an evil twin? An identical you with the major difference that he would be a strong Tim, not intimidated by Maureen or your boss or the aggressive neighbor.
Imagine it! What would this uninhibited, unafraid and unashamed you, do?'
Tim scoffed and dismissed the suggestion as useless. Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered going there.
He was hiding money from Maureen each month and lived in constant terror she would find out and mock him, telling everybody they would meet 'Did you know? Little Timmy here is paying for somebody to talk to him!' And she would cackle, that disdaining cackle that would streak her eyes with evil.
He did not know when she had become this cruel, demeaning person.
It had happened so slowly that he did not even notice it. Day by day, action by action, one morning he woke up to find that his wife only had contempt and maybe even hatred towards him.
Now, he had difficulties remembering the Maureen he had fallen in love with twenty years before. Sometimes he would look at their wedding photos, really study them up close, and he would not recognize those people.
Strangers from a far removed life.
He left the therapist's office a bit lighter after pouring his heart out in there. The only thing that kept him sane. Talking it out without fear of being judged or put in his place.
39 past 5 in the afternoon.
He needed to hurry, if he got home even ten minutes late Maureen would be crossed. Although constantly stating she could not care less of what he was doing, she was keeping track of his every move.
With a deep breath he turned the key in the lock and opened the door.
Tim could hear the TV rambling on in the living room.
'Honey, I am hooome!', this joke was a vestige from their good days, although now it was done just like a box to tick in their routine, not to signal anything was in any way out of order.
'Good! Turn the oven on and make yourself a frozen pizza, I already ate.'
Her voice mingled with those coming from the TV seeming to come from a different world than his.
He looked in at her on his way upstairs and without taking her eyes from the screen she waved him away.
These moments, when she was absorbed by the huge screen, were priceless. He would be free to wonder around the house in peace, without worry that she would pop up with new demands or tasks.
After he changed in his house clothes he went down into the kitchen and sternly refused to have a frozen pizza for dinner.
As usual she had not bought food, it seemed like she was a master at buying everything else but food.
Tim found eggs, some rock hard cheese and a few tiny tomatoes. Cheese omelette it is!
Like a predator drawn by the smell, she barged into the kitchen to find him eating a good looking omelette accompanied by the small tomatoes.
'Why are you eating that? Didn't I say to have pizza?', her stance was so aggressive and the situation so pointless, that Tim ignored her and just continued to eat.
He could not win with her anyway.
His silence annoyed Maureen even more so, she started moving things around noisily, making sure he could not have a pleasant meal.
All the while Tim looked at her and without wanting his mind drifted to what the therapist suggested.
'What would an uninhibited, unafraid, unashamed Tim do? Not an evil Tim, but a strong Tim, a Tim that can rise above it all and be a man like ... like Indiana Jones!'
'Are you done?', Maureen was now standing in front of him with her hand extended signalling she wants the plate seemingly to wash it.
'What would Indiana Jones Tim, do?’
He imagined Harrison Ford there in his kitchen, dressed up as Indiana Jones and urged him to do what would come naturally.
Indiana Jones wobbled a bit, but then, recovering his manly stance, turned Maureen towards him and said on an alert tone:
'That plate is the least of our worries right now! The treasure hunters are on their way! We must be quick and leave!'
Maureen looked at him enthralled.
'Oh Indie! You are the only one that can save us!'
'Earth to Timmm! Helloooo! Have you finally lost your mind for good?', Maureen had dropped her hand and was now just looking at him inquisitively.
Imagining Indiana Jones there gave Tim a strange feeling of peace.
He was not alone, he had himself to rely on. He will always have himself to rely on.
Tim finished his eggs, washed his plate and told Maureen he wants a divorce.
She laughed.
'What are you gonna do by yourself? Dogs will steal the food from your hand! You need me!'
Tim could see how shocked she was, she did not for a second think he meant it until he was sat outside the door with his little duffel bag.
'It will be ok, we will navigate this.', these words he had learnt from his therapist.
Maureen started crying distressed by his actions.
Tim just left, nothing else needed to be said.
'You will be back you useless piece of ...'
The rest got lost in the sound of birds chirping in the trees.
Tim was shocked by what he had done, but the shock was soothed by an unexpected feeling of relief.
Overarching and overwhelming relief.
'It will be ok! It has to! I will make it be ok!'