Whoever said you should not do business with family was a wise person. But what do you do when you are the family business?
Billy sat in bed surrounded by scripts he was meant to read, but just did not feel like it. It was a new house, a huge house compared to the one he had grown up into in Ballymun, on the outskirts of the outskirts of Dublin. Somehow though it still felt stifling and small, and Billy felt bubbling inside the dissatisfaction he could not yet put into words.
The door cracked open (no knock) and his mother came in carrying a tray with snacks and a large notebook under her arm.
‘Hi baby! Something to much on!’, she put the tray on the side and Billy could see it contained all the things he wanted to stay away from, crisps, biscuits and a few chocolates. He was too tired to argue, he had told her countless times he was tried to cut down on the salties and the sweets, as they called them in their family, but she somehow never heard that or accepted it and she continued to give him food he enjoyed as a child.
‘Thanks mom!’, his voice was fatigued and powerless, but she did not pick up on it, she was so focused on her task that he felt he could have been just a poster and the situation would have been just the same.
His mother sat down on a chair and opened the large notebook.
‘So, this weekend there are two award ceremonies that we need to go to and early Monday we are invited on the Ireland AM show to talk about your new movie …’
She went on and on, but Billy had already stopped listening and all he wanted was to be alone in silence and darkness. If only she would go away … But she did not, she only stopped when the door opened and his father walked in.
‘You won’t believe this we got a call for a film with Colin Farrell, I will have to look at the script of course, but it sounds goooood, reall’ goood!’, his father’s imitation of a cowboy voice made him look even more ridiculous.
Billy loved Colin Farrell, in a different situation he would have jumped off the bed in excitement and exhilaration, but now he just felt tired and oppressed. He did not want to go to award ceremonies with his parents, he did not want his father screening his scripts for him and he did not want his mother feeding him food fit for a child, not a child even …
He wished he had the power to tell them all the things he was feeling, all the things he wanted that did not involve them, but he could not, he loved them too much for it.
He looked at his mother in her flower patterned housecoat how pleased with herself and self important she was ‘I need to buy a new dress …’ and his father who seemed to live his best life now that he got the role of chatting on the phone with all sorts of casting people, agents and producers.
They had taken care of him all their lives and it was only normal for them to take on the role of manager and agent when he started to get somewhere with his acting. Of course in the beginning they did not take him seriously, but then when he started to earn ‘big money’ they had to guide him, keep him away from drugs and people that wanted to take advantage of him.
Which they did, but maybe they did it too well, and now he was that young actor that was constantly accompanied by his parents to all the events. He never got the chance to fully experience his life and now he felt just tired of it, like on the outside looking in feeling sorry for the young man that could not stand up for himself.
They left.
‘Read those! The courier is coming later with the Colin one, and that goes on top of the pile!’, his father said while the door was closing behind him.
Billy pulled the duvet over his head and prayed for sleep. At first it did not come and his mind was drowning in thoughts, but then he did fall asleep, and it felt so good to just be out of it, not to think anymore, not to feel anymore, not to care anymore.
When he woke up, on a little stool next to his bed stood a thick script with a note from his father which just said Coliiiinnnn!!!, Billy could not hold back a smile, sometimes his father’s enthusiasm was contagious. He sat up, pulled closer the tray of salties and sweets his mother had brought and started reading the script.
It was good, it was more than good, it was the kind of script that can launch a career, Billy felt all his cares and thoughts melt away, all that matter was that script, that possibility of him being in that movie. Billy felt like a suffocating know pressing on his insides. That was how passion felt like.
His parents did not matter, the events did not matter, the potential people in his life did not matter, all that mattered was his work and the chance to be in that movie.
The script had a phone number on it and Billy called, he introduced himself.
‘Billy so great to hear from you!’
‘I’m in!’
The person on the other line gave a short, surprised laugh.
‘Oh, ok, don’t you want your people to discuss money and things …?’
‘No, I am in!’, Billy knew that he would be paid well so he did not see any reason to haggle, he needed to have the role.
‘Ok, let’s talk. Colin is actually here right now, would you be able to join us?’
‘Sure! Let me get dressed, send me the address please.’
Billy showered and dressed with the speed of lightning and then he ran downstairs.
His parents were sat on the couch watching yet another episode of the Chase. They turned their heads in surprise.
‘Come on, what are you just sitting there! The TV will wait! Let’s go and meet Colin!’, and he went out the door accompanied by their shrieks of happiness.
Billy did get the role and his parents were ridiculously happy meeting a very confused Colin Farrell.
‘Oh we’re his parents, he takes us everywhere!’
And that might have just clinched it!